Thursday, March 16, 2017

Give Them Room to Change

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I recently thought of a person who shared this experience with me.  As an adult, she has felt like she had a certain negative characteristic because her mother has said to her constantly... "you have always been this way".

My friend realize, as an adult, that this is not true.  It took her many years to understand that she is NOT this way, but her mother sees her that way because of events in her childhood.  

Lets look at this deeply.   If her mother had given her "room to change", maybe she would have taken that opportunity.  If someone sees a child as "always that way", the child tends to believe that it is true, even when it isn't.   "Room to change" is giving the child (no matter what age) the opportunity to see themselves in a different way and shows them you have faith and trust that they will change a habit, a misbehaviour or an underlying concern you may have.   

This does not mean it will happen overnight.   Giving them room or space requires patience and trust.   

Words such as "I know you can do this" or my favorite "what could you do better next time?" work like miracle words!  Positive reinforcement and letting them see what they could do better are the best ways to encouraging changing a behaviour...

Recently we spent some time in the south pacific.  We captured this beautiful video on a beach.  There were thousands of butterflies!  Watch below...

Can you imagine all the caterpillars that were there before?  haha   Each one of these beautiful creatures were once caterpillars and changed to butterflies!  Our children will do the same...

Let's give our children "room to change" and better themselves.  They will see themselves in a different way and won't have to wait until they are an adult to realize that they really haven't carried  that negative trait all this years.  

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